I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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