I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
