Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
