Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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