i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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