I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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