At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
