OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
