Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
