There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
