We're like a lot better than the average bears
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
