Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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