So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
