Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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