I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
