Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize