maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
