Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
