what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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