do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
