i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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