best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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