when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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