I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
