Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
