Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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