She said her name was "party"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
