We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
