I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
