This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
