omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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