1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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