If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
