I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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