So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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