dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize