you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
