Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
