i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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