I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
