My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
