Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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