What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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