we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
