she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
