ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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