I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
