im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
