You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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