How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Houston, we have a blender
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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