I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize