Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
