i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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