I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
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They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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