Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
