Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I came so hard my ears popped.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
