she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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