You really coming over, don't trick.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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