Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
