she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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